Feeling empty isn't the same as being empty
"I feel empty inside"
It is an inner voice I’ve had often on throughout my life. I think most humans do.
But after May, that voice got louder.
I noticed it would show up when I would be doing some of the most historically enjoyable things. It was sort of like that that “friend” who is always raining on peoples parade.
Then one day, I found myself asking the question “would you rather be feeling empty inside or be empty inside?”
Which led to thoughts like…
“wait! there’s a difference between the two? of course there is a difference between the two!”
“feelings are not necessarily facts”
“think of a time when your feelings did not align with the facts?”
Then suddenly, I remember an instance when I ordered something online, received a box and upon opening, found it to be empty. It had packaging material. But not the item I ordered.
Which gave rise to another memory of ordering an item from amazon where the box felt empty and a voice telling me “what? is anything even in there?” and then I unboxed it…and the item was there. I simply had the wrong mental model for its weight and size.
I told myself that day that it is okay to feel empty as long as I remember to not confuse it with a universal fact: I am not empty inside. No human is empty.
We can only pretend to be empty. And there is no need to dismiss that feeling. Pretending can have its upside both to the pretender and to the audience. It is just important to make it controlled. “Controlled?” a voice inside me asked. Another replied:
“Yes, controlled pretending…like at Halloween, or the people dressed up as Spiderman at Times Square or cosplay.”
Controlled pretending can open doors. Reckless pretending can shut doors.
Controlled pretending that we feel empty can help you unearth important ideas or changes that you might otherwise neglect or miss. Reckless pretending that we feel empty can cause us to believe we are empty…and make us trash a box full of gift without even examining…simply because we felt it was empty.